things.

Feeling the pressure to become part of a padronized mentality, even if an act, in order to succeed was pushing me away. They say the habit creates the monk. And I have the feeling most uni focal septical and selfish views have started with a disbelief. We are what we repeatedly do. Still, it consumes to much of my energy to try to be politically correct.

Truth is I had nothing to do with this world, and it has been a rough learning of how things are done, and conciliating that with how I wanna do it.

A new world at a point when your own personality has suffered major blunt trauma isn't exactly a piece of cake, but oh well.. It's when everything (literaly) goes wrong that you measure your beliefs and your own self, which can be transformed or strengthened. It creates the decisive point where you can become what everyone wants you to become, or become what you want to become, and even if you momentarily lose that sight, if it's strong enough, it will be respawned.

And it is now. I can see myself right back where I was 4 years ago, only wiser, and with more know how. I can see myself where I was 10 years ago and realized I was on the right track, just blind sighted to the world around me.

You can't do things just because you're supposed to, how you're supposed to. You have to do what feels right, and how it feels right inside. You have to be you. With all your flaws and qualities, molding the gross rock to your liking, not to how it's best sold in the market. In the end, you're the one who's going to have to live with yourself everyday of your life, not anybody else, so it's wiser to mold it to your own liking.